Whom should I choose to be my health care agent?
A family member or friend who:
  • Is at least 18 years old
  • Knows your wishes about medical treatment
  • Will work hard to honor your wishes
  • You can communicate openly with
  • You trust to do what is best for you
  • Lives close by or would be willing to come if needed
  • Can handle potential conflicts between your family and friends
You cannot choose:
  • your doctor (unless your doctor is your spouse or your relative)
  • an operator, administrator, or employee of the hospital or nursing home where you are admitted (unless they are a relative or you appointed them before
    your admission)
Because you are asking your agent to accept significant responsibility, be certain to ask your agent if he or she is willing to act on your behalf. Not everyone is comfortable accepting this sort of responsibility; therefore, it is very important to have an honest discussion with the person you plan to choose before you complete your health care proxy.
 
Questions for the Person That you might designate as your Spokesperson
(from Excellus BCBS "Advance Care Planning Compassion and Support at the end of life")
  1. Will you respect my wants and needs, even if they are different from what they used to be,
    or if you think they are unusual or foolish?
  2. If I cannot communicate for myself, will you make sure that what I have asked for is done,
    even if you would make different choices yourself?
  3. Will you talk with me openly and lovingly about any unfinished business between us and
    listen if I need to apologize or ask for forgiveness for anything that has hurt you in the past?
  4. Will you talk with me about my coming death – my fears, my sorrows, my joys and
    gratitude?
  5. Will you care for yourself so that you are not drained by my illness?
  6. Will you stay with me even if the going gets rough?
  7. Will you seek out information about my disease and what to expect as I get sicker and near
Still unsure?
  • Download the brochure " Questions and Answers: Health Care Agents: Appointing One and Being one" (from the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization.)
References:
  • Excellus BCBS "Advance Care Planning. Compassion and Support at the End of Life." April 2005.
  • National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization, “Questions and Answers: Health Care Agents: Appointing One and Being one”
  • State of New York Department of Health, "Health Care Proxy: Appointing Your Health Care Agent in New York State"
  • State of New York Department of Health, “Planning Your Health Care In Advance: How To Make End-Of-Life Wishes Known And Honored,” 2005.